BIRMINGHAM
Oh God… My head… send all the coffee… and a new head… and a new voice… Birmingham, can I apologise in advance if I throw up onstage this evening? We all crawl out of our rooms and onto the bus. I'm a mixture of hangover, regret and caffeine. Only one choice for it… SLEEP. I have some weird dreams as we roll down some midlands motorway, at one point I think we're flying. Each time I open my eyes and see that we're still on four wheels firmly on the ground, I get upset and nod off back to sleep. The boys in the back have switched to watching Doug Stanhope, whose dark comedy begins to slip into my dreams… Now I'm flying and I want to kill myself. This is one hell of a hangover.
As we finally arrive in Birmingham (It's not actually that long a journey, but in my head it took years) and awaiting us outside the venue is one Stinson Hunter (if you're not too sure who Stinson is, Google him) I had been aware of Stinson's work for quite some time, and was shocked when he contacted me saying he was fan of Bleach Blood and my previous musical beat combo The King Blues, and was even more shocked when he said he'd like to do a feature on me, making me the first person he interviewed who isn't involved in his usual subject matter. Birmingham is a weird mixture of hot / cold, and it’s confusing, but I deal with it: my hangover is beating me today, like really beating me. We hole up in a theatre bar just on the outskirts of China Town and while Stinson and his team set up their cameras I slowly nurse a fresh pint… daytime drinking is quite a touring phenomena… always makes me laugh that in any other industry you couldn't get away with living like this, but in music, it's almost expected of you.
We get into the interview, we talk about the past, the present and the future, and it's most enjoyable. Finally my head is beginning to feel less fuzzy and the sun is coming out. Today might yet still be a good day. I leave the band to quiz Stinson on his life (it is MOST interesting) and wander back to the venue to restring my guitars.
Doors open, Arches take to the stage. It's a slow turnout tonight, people still wandering in and to the bar during our set. By the end they come forward and engage. We drop Heart Sing and the crowd come to life, they start dancing, singing along. Apparently that track did well in Brum! I spend most the set watching Charlie from the corner of my eye. He's such a character, a huge personality onstage and entertaining both to watch and perform with. The rest of the night goes like clockwork. Natives are great, a few more beers are sunk, some of the boys go upstairs and watch the Strangers, then we load out.
End of the night.
I wish.
See, I've spent a lot of time in Birmingham.
I got friends here.
One of my dearest friends runs a bar.
Subside, here we are.
I’m greeted at the front door by dear friend Ashlie Moz, whose first action is drag us all to the bar. Beer happens. Vodka happens….erm… Bucks Fizz happens. I'm not too sure what else happened after that, other than Sam confessing his undying love for me and passing out in the front of the bus. I'm blissfully drunk and smiling.
We jolt to a halt and I nearly jump out of my skin. Blurry eyed, I look at my phone… 4am. Where the fuck are we?
"Hotel, gentlemen, wake the fuck up and go to bed!"
Everyone is confused (We probably wouldn't be if we bothered to read the itinerary we got at the start of the tour saying that we've got a 2 hour drive to Newcastle tonight). Sam and Frank are quick off the mark and straight into their rooms… Charlie and I have a smoke in the car park and wander to the front door, open it and are greeted to a young lady threatening to call the police on us.
"Wait, what? What have we done?"
"You broke the door, it was locked, and you fucking pulled it off, and now you're being aggressive"
"…"
I laugh and walk to my room, Charlie goes out for another smoke. 10 minutes pass, and Dave is worried, we haven't heard anything from Charlie… maybe that lady did call the Police. We take a wander out to the lobby, and Charlie is stood being shouted at, looking partly confused and fully bemused.
"What on earth is going on?" I ask.
"It's him, he’s drunk and aggressive and I'm going to call the Police."
"No, he's not drunk", (Charlie wasn't) "I am, but I'm not being aggressive in the slightest!"
Charlie states his case, and walks off to bed laughing, Dave asks for a formal complaint sheet, she decides that she's over-reacted and he heads to bed.
I finally work out the touch screen vending machine, get a bottle of water and turn around with the full intention of going to bed. But, as today really just doesn't want to end, instead am greeted with a very drunk Sam.
In a giraffe onesie.
"I can't sleep, I heard we were getting arrested, what's going on?"
Palm. Meet face.
Luckily the lady behind the desk takes in good humour: I mean when fully grown adult dressed in a giraffe onesie wearing broken glasses while drunkenly swaying from side to side says that, you'd have to be made of stone not to find it funny, and we start talking.
She's interested in the band, asks polite questions, which we answer. She's slightly odd, but hey, so am I, so whatever. We talk for about half an hour and I'm growing increasingly aware that it's getting light outside, as is Sam, who mid-sentence, turns around and leaves the room.
That's when things get weird.
"So you're in a band? Have you ever met Brian Molko before? Have you kissed him? I write fan-erotica about him, would you like to read it?"
"Erm… I am, I have, I haven't and I think it's time for me to go to bed. Alone."
I run as fast as my legs will carry me, dive under my duvet and sleep.
With one eye open.
NEWCASTLE PART 1… THE DAY OFF!!!!WOOOOWWWOOOOOOO!!!!
Sorry.
 |
| Day off view, Newcastle |
The End.
NEWCASTLE PART 2… THE SHOWWWWW DAYYYYY!!!!!!
 |
| Front of Newcastle Academy |
After packing down, we join some friends in a bar around the corner and enjoy some tasty beers. Tomorrow we head to Glasgow and I gotta be honest, after Newcastle, my friends north of the border have a lot to live up to.
 |
| Glasgow, King Tuts |
This morning unveils itself like any other… I wake up slightly fuzzy headed, shout at Dave for snoring who then shouts at me for snoring (I DON'T SNORE) and hands me a freshly made coffee. I lay in that half awake half sleep state while thumbing through my phone. Mornings like this on tour are the best. We convene by the bus and take the long drive across the border to Scotland. As is normal, I finish another coffee before a mixture of the bus rolling along the motorway, a fierce sidewind and the sounds of a very angry american coming through the TV in the back send me to sleep… Fuck you England, I'm gonna go hang out with the Scots.
The second we get to the venue I wake up. Natives are loading in already and that ‘Big Fight’ feeling comes back. This is Arches' territory and as stumble off the bus the kids waiting around the back make sure I know as such. Time flies tonight, as it's their hometown show we've swapped, with Arches on directly after the local opening band (whose names escape me, but are really really fucking good). We didn't sound check and the front of house guy seems like he took a little bit too much acid in the 60s… in fact I think he's taken so much acid in the 60s that it's still the 60s and the whole of this reality we're all living is just some mad trip he's on.
King Tuts is rammed. I love this venue, I've played here a ton of times and its always been a blinder of a show. After the first couple of songs and everything has stopped feeding back, we find our stride. Tonight, East LDN Dance Party is the highlight, a totally new track we've never played live. Seldom do I look up in this track (usually flail my arms about like some deranged Indian Morrissey impersonating one of those wacky inflatable extending arm things during this song) but this time I do and see a sea of people grooving along the 808 kicks and rave guitars. Glasgow is great to us from there on in.
 |
| Hungover selfie in Birmingham, or Scotland...or somewhere |
MADDDDDCHESTER!! <3 <3 <3
Wake up, Coffee, snoring complaints, coffee, sleep in bus… if you've read this far into this, then you get my morning routine… mind if I skip it all out and just get on to the show? Yeah? Cool? Awesome. Honestly, I'm not being lazy, just nothing much happens before the show today. I'm tired and lagging. We get to Manchester late, which is kinda upsetting as I love this town, but have to straight into show mode. Tonight seems to dragging, I dunno what's wrong with me… I don't see the boys much, just decide to hangout with my own thoughts (which is never healthy for me to do!). I begin to wonder what my life would be like if I had a 9 to 5, a normal life… If I didn't go on tour, play shows and spend most months out of the year living in the front seat of a van being very aware of how much my friends smell kinda funky (It's not their fault… it's just sometimes that Travelodge shower just really doesn't combat tour grime very well…).
I'm bummed out and being a total bumout.
As it comes to stage time, I walk over to the side of the stage and see a full room of kids. They give us a cheer when we hit the stage and suddenly I'm awake. Tonight goes off without a hitch and we storm it. Considering I walked onstage really not feeling tonight at all and left covered in sweat with a beaming smile on my face, it's safe to say, ‘hey Manc, you guys are fucking cool’.
After the show I grab a bite to eat and apologise to the band for being a grumpy fuck. Sam wanders to the night with his girlfriend, Frank with his parents and Charlie and I opt for a quiet night in our relatively quiet hotel rooms.
Not much to say today, other than, thanks Manchester.
L.E.E.D.S
Today is great, from the second I wake up, it's great. My first coffee is awesome, although while it's not from the relative comfort of my hotel bed, it is from the sun drenched vibrance that is Manchester's Northern Quarter. As we wait for the rest of the boys to get into town, I take a wander around the vintage shops in search for a new leather jacket to no avail. (But really, I've been looking for a fucking leather jacket like The International Noise Conspiracy are wearing in their video for Capitalism Stole My Virginity for YEARS now… someone must be able to point in the right direction?! Help a brother out!!) We reconvene by the bus and embark on the short trip to Leeds.
Leeds is a weird city for me, see, I've got this thing about girls from Leeds, or more precisely have attended Leeds University… While I'm not going to go into too much detail, its safe to say about 80% of my lyrics are based on situations involving girls who've attended Leeds Uni… I guess in some way I should be thankful for them. Load in is easy and we begin to setup our gear.
"WHAT THE FUCK!!"
I turn my head around to see an irate Frank searching his traps case with a look of total panic on his face.
"WHERE THE FUCK ARE HALF MY STANDS?! WHO THE FUCK PACKED MY CASE LAST NIGHT, YOU'VE LEFT HALF MY FUCKING DRUM KIT IN MANCHESTER!!!"
It seems, no-one packed Frank's case last night.
I look at Dave. Dave looks at me. He knows what needs to happen. Bye Dave, see you in a few hours, enjoy your round trip back to Manchester.
Being a TM is a thankless task half the time, and while I'd like spend a few lines telling you all how awesome Dave is, I'm not going to… Thankless it is, and thankless it shall remain. (Love you Dave!)
Borrowing the missing parts of our drum kit from Natives we head to the stage. Once again Leeds proves itself to be an awesome town and an awesome show. I couldn't have been happier with how it went, for all the bands tonight, not just us. After the show we all hangout, tomorrow is a day off and the tour won't see each again until we hit Paris…which of course means that we all get hammered drunk afterwards, perfect for the 3 hours ride home ahead of us. Sprits (both mentally and alcoholic) are high, and sure at some point around about 5am, I'
ll get woken up, have to drag my bags into my house, feeling like total shit while an overexcited Pug is peeing on my legs that will struggle to walk in a straight line, but fuck it, right now is awesome.
Good night, see you all in Paris real soon. X
The Punk Archive would like to extend a massive thank you to Jamie for keeping this diary for us.
Catch Bleach Blood at Camden Rocks Festival on 31st May, and also playing the Barfly on 20th April and supporting Itch at the 100 Club on 6th May.
No comments:
Post a Comment